Showing posts with label Insight. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Insight. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Of Birthdays, New Year and Memories~~~

Seems like everyone is doing their last post of the year thing on their blog. Thought I'd ought to do the same as well.

First thing's first, to every single one of you who have wished me happy birthday, I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I really do appreciate even the smallest gesture.And to those who didn't, I wish you all get run over by cancer.
Jokes. I love too many of you to wish that yall get cancer. FFS my own father didn't wish me.


I realise how I've changed this year. Which is quite close to none. Yes, despite all those bullshit I've been through, I hardly change abit. Which can be either a good or a bad thing. You decide

I've met tons of new and wonderful people. Tried my best to keep in touch (not successfully I might add) to those that have left the country.

Do I have any regret about the things I've done in my life this year? Yes. There are a few things I've done which I wish I could change. But no point crying over spilled milk right? I just hope that 2009 would be a better year.

Ok enough emo shit. The funniest shit just happen today.

Wui Liang promised me a birthday present (The only person who bothered I might add lol). And he passed it to me this morning. I was quite curious to be honest. And as I open the wrapper, I just cant help but to bloody laugh.

"Awwww you got me a laptop skin!!! And I don't even have a laptop!"
"WTF!!!???"
"It's ok. I'll prolly hang it in my room or something."

Jokes man. Thanks alot. Appreciate it =)

Just to end the last post of 2008. Pictures taken previous years.

Almost all of them I knew since we were kids.

One awesome class

Nobody can resist posing lol

Jun Lin doing a lala pose. Zhan Fai looking like Hitler. Alvin looks wasted. 5 Gamma at its finest.

Dumb dumb of 5 Gamma

We look happy ~ Samantha

We were =)


Happy New Year everyone.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Angels deserve to die~~~

These past few days have been nothing short of awesome =)

Well if you count out my crappy econs exam and a certain fagg, life is all great.

Crystal, J.D you guys were freaking awesome. You guys were really there for me when I need you most :]

Had an outing with Iva, which was nothing short of awesome. ~4 hours of ice skating does take its toll on yur feet (my feet was swollen for the rest of the day lol) but twas really fun.

AND I FUCKING BRAKED!!!! FUCK YEAH I FINALLY FUCKING BRAKED PROPERLY!!!!
sure it was totally by accident and I couldn't do it again but hey its a start

I've learn a few things these past few days. One of it is that when life gives you lemon, you could either:

a)Make lemonade

or

b)You can ignore the lemons and grab life by the lips and just YANK as hard as you can! Throw it to the ground, beat it senseless, spit on its mouth and take its fucking wallet! And yell triumphantly "NO! NO GODDAMN IT, I WILL NOT TAKE THESE LEMONS OR THIS SHIT, SO FUCK YOU!"

Basically what I'm trying to say in point b) is that, you don't have to make the best out of every bad situation you encounter. Once in a while, just.get.the.fuck.out.of.it.

Another life's lesson by Dr. Irfan. I'm awesome

~Amidst all of the crap that we're going through, last thing I need is testicular cancer~

Saturday, November 1, 2008

These Words~~~

I was just sitting back in my room enjoying the view from my window (If you consider the back of other people's house a view that is) and thinking bout my past and how different it was from what is happening now.

Back then going to a friends house is considered to be a "special occasion". Now me and my friends just drop by each other house as though we live there. Back then going to the mall on our own was considered to be an adventure. Now I'm accompanying a friend to get her back tattooed.

And for some reason when I think about this kind of stuff I get scared. Scared shitless. And I have no idea why. I suppose it has just hit me that we are all growing up. And why am I so scared of it? I have no idea.

Sorry for this rather gay post.

Incase yur wondering, THIS is the view from my window. Exciting isnt it?


I was too free so I decided to play aroud with my photoshop for a while lol.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Because I Can~~~

You don't need to have tracked the world for your true love and have saved her from her own self-loathing to try and see if maybe that girl from math class might be interested in a date. You can do that today.

You don't need to have your family murdered by a megalomaniac clown and find redemption in the innards of your own soul to learn what exactly it means to let past evil influence your life of the present. You can do that today.

You don't need to have seen your world blow up around you and live in a dump to stand up and face the new day with a smile regardless. You can do that today.

Never be too scared to lose something to not try and get it altogether. People who know what they want and work hard to get it are the best kind out there, respected by others and themselves.

You knock that sucker out

Some random quotes I found while surfing the net. Tot twas pretty nice.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Because I Can~~~

Wohoo im blogging using my phone!! As quoted from Su Yee: Which is why we should all love opera mini. Why am i blogging from my phone? Because im bored. And I can.

Ok honestly right now im being a lampost. Ya know. The third guy. 2 is a couple 3 is a crowd. Im just here to make a crowd. I personally hate doing this. But considering the how much i like them both (and i was dead bored at home anyway might as well be bored with someone around. Plus they offered me free japanese dinner later. Cant resist that), i agreed to go with them.

My craving for an electric guitar came back to me. I dont know why. But its like all of a sudden i have the urge to play some real powerchord and maybe a few solo. Playing Aerosmith Dream On with my acoustic is not fun. Maybe Ill get a job at the end of the year. Plus the Yamaha store in parade started selling some Les Paul guitar and I gotta say, those guitar is smoking sexy XD. Blah typing on a keypad is annoying. Ill just end it here.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Futility~~~

I spent an absurd amount of time arguing with a bunch of friends today.

"Just cause we have no proof of something it, doesn't necessarily means it doesn't exist"

I have no idea why all of a sudden we decided to get all intellectual and started arguing about this. Most of the time we argued on simple stuff like;

"What items is best suited for --- hero? (DotA talk)"
or
"My bitch is hotter than yours (Ironically the majority of us hu argued in this topic are currently single. And after this argument I stopped wondering why.)"


Anyway, I argued strongly on it. I gave some strong point. Religion, politics, moral ethic all came out. I give facts that even if we have no logical proof whether Jesus is divine or just human, majority of the Christians still believe that he is the son of god.

And the reply I got?

"Jesus was an extraterrestrial"

"................................................................"

Futility- All those carefully worded arguments are falling on deaf ears

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Death and His Friends~~~

I just got back from my granduncle's funeral. Passed away a few days ago. Im not overly upset about it. I barely knew him. One of those distance family member which I dont know and dun bother to know.

But its a different case for my grandfather. His brother passed away. And I've never seen him that upset before. Tears rolled down his eyes as they carry my late granduncle's body to the funeral ground. At that time, I shed a few tears as well. Not because I'm gonna miss my granduncle or anything, as I said I barely knew him. I cried because its saddening to think that someone's loved one left this world. The fact that I dont know my granduncle that well doesn't matter. Its the fact that he love someone and is loved by someone, and now he had to leave those people.
~He's my cat! He's not God's cat! Let God have his own cat! Let God have all the damn old cats he want, and kill them all! Church is mine!~ Pet Sematary, Stephen King

Its really saddening if you really think about it. One day, your with the people you love, people you really care about, people you would give the world to, and the next day you had to leave them. Because your time is up.

Our life is one giant timer. Once it hits zero, thats it, the Grim Reaper will come to greet you. We can do whatever we can to delay it. To extend our time. But we can never stop its scy†he from hitting our (head? heart? life? soul? Whatever it is that provides life in our body).

Hell the worst part is the conversation I had with my parents on the way back.

Dad: Lets see yur grandfather passed away when he's 66 years old. Assuming thats the average age of the people in our family passes away, it means I still have 16 more years to live. Thats not so bad. At least I can still see you're (mine) wife and kids

Yes thats what my dad said to me on our way back (not the exact conversation but its close). And its not the first time he mention something about his own death. Honestly I hate it when my dad says this kinda things. I think its pretty obvious why.

But I found something interesting. Back at my grandfathers house on his rambutan trees. A new born baby bird!! 2 of them. Their waiting for their mother to come back with their food. And their really cute (Ok to be honest their the ugliest bird I've ever seen. Its a new born bird so its normal). Its ironic in a way. I suppose for every life thats taken away, a new life comes to this world.

I would post a picture of the birds but my phone's cable is missing. And I'm terribly lazy to find them.


~No I don't wanna battle
From beginning to end
I don't wanna cycle
Un-Recycle revenge
I don't wanna follow
Death and all his friends~

Monday, April 28, 2008

Lol?~~~

Im suppose to be studying for my LAN exam tomorrow. Instead here I am. Blogging another meaningless post.

_______________

Ok I've spent 15 minutes trying to think of a meaningful (however meaningful my blog can probably get) and I cant come up with shits. I could have spent the last 15 minutes studying but instead I end up wif an empty head. Emptier than be4 at least.

_______________

Crystal said something to me today;

"FFS. We all change. Its just a matter whether its for better or for worse. Look at J.D, back then, he was a real ass. The one that you really want to kick whenever he bends over. Now he's like all nice and goofy and macho wannabe and manage to score the hottest girl around; Me."

Conversation like these often reminds me on why I love this girl so much. No I do not have a crush or a secret love affair with her. The word "love" have been incredibly overused by me lately.

Niwae thinking back, I realise I did change. Theres this part of my life where I really screw up one of my best friend ends up ignoring me for the rest of our schooling year. Thats when I realise I cannot go on living my life with this attitude. And I took that slow and painful process of trying to be a better man. And well, I am what I am now.

Whether people realise this or not really doesnt matter. I change for my own sake. Not them. Self realisation. I suppose not many people can do that.

And whether I am a better man or not, thats for you to decide. You dont like me? Then tell me why. I'll do my best to fixed that part of me (of course only if the problem is concerning my attitude or the way I treat you. If you dun like me cuz of my looks or my race or my religion then its really you that needs fixing.).

Do I think I've change for the better? Honestly, I think I have. Looking at my life now, I really have not much to complain as oppose to last time. I have friends which I consider as true friends. I have less things to worry about these days. Less emo moments. So life's been doing pretty well for me.

_______________

I suppose this is as meaningful as I can get.

Blog to express not to impress eh Mae?

~If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it. ~Mary Engelbreit~

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Do you remember?~~~

"When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.



Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!



That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.



Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.



In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.



Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Dew about my wifes divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.



On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.



She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking >from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.



I drove to office, jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind, I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote: "I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart" "









If we discovered that we only had five minutes left to say all that we wanted to say, every telephone booth would be occupied by people calling other people to stammer that they loved them.

-Christopher Morley



Story taken from Amir's Blog.

~We walk slow now, but we still have each other.
The glue of love is still bonding us together.
Love is what I remember.
Do you remember? ~

Monday, March 10, 2008

Minority~~~

I once had this conversation with Eva.

Me: Majority over the minority dear. Thats why I always lose. Thats why I always try to be apart of the majority.

Iva: Well maybe thats because you are a part of the minority no matter how hard you try.

Iva: We are the minority. Its that really such a bad thing?

Somehow I can never get that conversation out of my head.



Step-Up 2. Last street dance.

Awesome movie. Sure stories predictable (rather crappy) but if yur watching this movie for stories its like reading science fiction books expecting facts.